The cardinal rule for any 24 viewer

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The cardinal rule for any 24 viewer faced with a preposterous plot twist is “Just Accept It and Move On” – your brain starts melting down if you don’t.

If the first couple of episodes are anything to go by, season 5 looks like being one of the best yet. And there’s an important landmark being reached here – assuming Jack Bauer survives to the end of the series, he’ll have finally completed a full five-day working week.

Furthermore, there’s slightly less gleeful lingering torture than usual, so it shouldn’t feel quite so close to watching snuffy internet death porn this time round.

Still, in case I am wrong, here’s an idea: every time Jack contravenes the Geneva Convention, let’s all donate a pound to Amnesty International. Or we could adopt a sliding scale – a quid for every broken finger, 10 quid for a gouged eyeball, and a cool 200 if he starts undoing his flies. Oh come on. It’ll really piss the producers off!

By Charlie Brooker

Για την αντιγραφή an always repentant viewer….