Guy Browning's How To... Have a nice day

It's impossible for the British to say "Have a nice day" without the long shadow of sarcasm passing over the conversation. In this country we presume that the day will be bad if not disastrous, whereas in America, nice days and the having thereof are written into the constitution.

You get really good days only about once a year. That's when everything in life conspires to be in your favour. Some people worry so much that it will come to an end that they don't enjoy the day when it's there. Just accept that sometimes it really is your day.

Nice days are ones that make happy memories. One nice day can extinguish the memory of 13 bad ones, which is handy because this is normally the ratio you get on two weeks' holiday with the family. It's also the day you forget your camera.

Nice days can happen spontaneously. You get out of bed on the right side, with a spring in your step and a song in your heart. This can be disconcerting for naturally grumpy people and they have to commit several acts of unpleasantness before the feeling subsides.

Bad news comes in threes - but so does good news. Nice days that start well are likely to get even better and probably end on a high note. You know you've had a good day when you go to bed with a smile on your face. Really good days end with two people smiling in your bed, one of which is you.

There is normally a meteorological aspect to nice days. A shaft of sunlight can for a moment lend a cathedral-like grandeur to a corner of your living room. Sometimes a warm breeze in your hair or the smell of wood smoke can lift your spirits. If you get both at the same time, be careful that your hair is not actually on fire as this would then begin to be a bad day.

There would be more nice days if everyone made more of an effort to make other people's day. The equivalent of a shaft of sunlight in your living room is sharing a smile or a laugh with a complete stranger. So it's worth smiling at people you meet, and don't worry, with those teeth no one's going to mistake you for an American.