a shallow evaluation of yrs passed

5 years, 5 boys, 3 flatmates, 2 counsellors, a few good friends, many more acquaintances. 4 flats, w6, sw1, n7, nw8. 2 part-time jobs, 1 full-time, 3pcs, 4 cameras, 930 photos on flickr, 11,000 on cds, 223 books (half of which barely read, 1/4 barely touched), same number of recycling bags, some tetras of music/films/Lost/Scrubs, 10 series of Never Mind The Buzzcocks and Have I Got News For you?, 1 recording, a few vinyls, 3 next morning pills, 2 parking fines, 3 bday parties, £4000 on tfl, thousands of airmiles but only 1 transatlantic flight, 3 gym subscriptions, 3 magazine subscriptions, 1 and 1/2 phd proposal, 2 blogs, some dozens plays and concerts, 12 conferences, 400 hours in BL, double in friends’ houses, quadruple walking around London, 3 guilty pleasures, 1 ton of hot&sour soup, 550 espressos, 1 million emails, 1 zillion hrs on chat, 1 gazillion hrs looking for “that song”, 55mins of sudoku, 1785mins of pc Taipei, 300hrs of lying awake at night, ??? mins of feeling happy, xⁿ hrs of feeling analytical etc, etc.

still don’t feel the urge to ask why I am here.

a month ago, I found myself seriously considering leaving this island for good. First it was for Berlin, then Spain and Athens as a last resort. The thought only lasted a few hrs, it soon dissolved in my mind; it would be like running away, and I still haven't finished with what it is that I’m doing here.

here’s to 5 more